JacquelineToday is the day, the day when I go back to writing a diary, back to when I was innocent and was not scarred by the outside world. I went to see the doctors last week, they took tests, they were worried about me, the lady was crying
I didnt really understand I just wanted to start to get better. They started to get worried about me at the club, they told me I was getting too thin and the men wouldnt like me anymore if I didnt get better, I was getting fevers, I shivered a lot I became confused easily this wasnt just a New York winter, there was something wrong... I went back there today
. They tell me I am HIV+, they tell me I probably got it from sharing a needle, they can tell Im on smack, they want to help me. Im 17 years old; a long time ago I was the pretty girl from the right side of the tracks, I worked hard and did the right thing by everyone, I was going to grow up and own a home with a picket fence with flowers on my w
a slow decentThinking of times better off forgottenFlashing images caught on filmWill never tell the whole storyLike a blanket when youre coldItll always be too smallNo matter how far you stretch itPull itRip itTear itItll never be enoughYoull forever be coldThey just keep on sending usTime and time againAnd every timeMore are lostBut not meWhy am I here?
Why ME?I could have been TimOr AndrewOr JackOr just one of the other thousandsDead and maimedBut not meNot a scratchExcept
to my soulAnd my consciousnessLess human than the deadMore dead than humanNOISE & CARNAGEAs mensBodiesAnd soulsAre rent asunderA normal lullaby for the ones stillWalkingHidingSCREAMINGNo longer any escapeNo beautyNothing pureMy head is now almost certainlyThe worst of all placesNo escape from your thoughts
FrustrationWhere is this love they speak of?Where is hopeFreedom?